[personal profile] shoryo

And now it's time for drunken late-night blogging. Just watched Lockout. Hilariously bad movie. Lots of great one-liners. But lots of cliched characters, drawing on standard racist/sexist stock. If you can drink yerself past that bit, then it's pretty good fun.

This last couple weeks have been really good. Couple things happened. First: formed a new circle of friends online. Super awesome people. Hopefully they'll think I'm cool, in time. More than just finding cool people, this really drove home how socially isolated I've been since leaving Portland. I had so many different circles there. Since leaving, well, there's a reason I'd fled the east coast in the first place; and I never expected this segment of the midwest to be nearly so bad. All my extended family are from the midwest, but a different state, so I thought I knew what I was getting into. Oh how little did I know. Then again, maybe this is like traveling to foreign countries: there's a big difference between a few weeks visit and actually living there... Anyways, yeah, good people. That's always nice. Though it's so sad that they're all online, and so widely spread around the country.

Second: I feel like I've broken through a wall. It's been just about exactly six months now since starting HRT. I noticed lots of changes in the first few months, but the last couple months it's felt like I hit some sort of plateau. Felt a bit like the testosterone-fueled brain-stupid was coming back. Then, a couple days ago or so: wham! The gears fit into place, and everything started rolling again, faster than before. Whatever it is, it's been wonderful. But now I'm hesitant—

See, originally, when I started everything, I'd been hoping to be able to set T-day for sometime around the newyear; start that RLE with the new semester. But then, as the plateau feeling came on, I figured I wouldn't have a chance of passing until the summer break sometime; so, dejectedly, that became the new plan. But now, now I'm impatient. I just want the damn lie done with, want T-day asap. Of course, "asap" is gonna hafta mean after the semester ends; so winter break, just like the original plan. But can I make that work? Or rather, how can I make that work? Cuz this waiting is killin me.

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